Eugene Dolan has been a Union man since the very first day I met him about 15 years ago. In fact he was my very first Shop Steward. Amongst the many secrets in his life, little did I know that he was Santa Clause.

Working in the Post office, I would often hear stories about him dressing up for coworker’s families during the holiday season. I would also hear him going back and forth with coworkers (breaking stones as everyone does in the Post office) while exhibiting the comedic wit that he honed during his stand up comedian classes. “You know he is a professional comedian”. That’s what people would say in jest after he would make everyone laugh at work. By doing it, he set the atmosphere in the office that released a lot of stress before we actually hit the street.

Then I started to notice that different people would call him different names. Besides the ones I can’t say in this story, his monikers were “Nick, Chris, Cringles, Saint, Sleigh Driver”, etc. Being the “not so bright” person that I am, I never put two and two together.

That was until I got an email from my brother Carl Achtert, Shop Steward at the Media Annex Post office. He explained that he had seen a story on NBC 10 news about our executive board member. After viewing the video (it’s contained in the link below) I understand that he emailed them to do this for his lovely wife (why didn’t I notice that he would often refer to her as Mrs. Claus). This is a great thing to do for a great man. Why great? Anyone who dedicated their lives to children all over the world has to be called “great”. Word is he also pays his elves union wages. Also, there is a rumor that many years ago, Santa started delivering his gifts by the USPS. He actually had the vision to put both of his life’s work together.

But now he humbly tries to pass himself off as a mild mannered Executive Board Member (in the capacity of Director of Retirees) of Southeast Pennsylvania Merged Branch 725. After a while, even slow minded people like me can put the puzzle together. Like in a movie, I had a flashback. A couple weeks ago his picture surfaced in the Postal Record. Again, at a function that served the needs of other. His picture captured him at the national NALC Bowl-a-thon. The event raises money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association (the official charity of the NALC). With that, everything came together for me.

This man has to be exposed for the fraud that he is. Eugene, if you think that a little hair color and strategic shaving can fool us anymore, you are wrong! He is not just a mild mannered, slightly chunky family man, posing as a humble Union official. I truly believe that he is, indeed, Santa Claus!

Eugene Dolan’s starring role on channel 10 news